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Date: Thu, 23 Jun 1994 21:11:24 -0700
From: Henry Strickland <strick@well.sf.ca.us>
Message-Id: <199406240411.VAA12460@well.sf.ca.us>
To: strick@well.sf.ca.us
Subject: 022The_Plot,_Thickening
Status: O

 
 
 PLOT
 
 IN THE 1990S A MAJOR SPLIT IN THE AMERICAN PUBLIC IS 
 BECOMING OBVIOUS: THERE IS THE NUMERICALLY LARGE 
 MINORITY OF HIP MEDIA FANS THAT KEEPS MONDO VANILLI 
 THE MOST POPULAR SHOW ON TV -- AND THERE IS THE 
 STRANGE BEDFELLOWSHIP OF CONSERVATIVES AND THE 
 POLITICALLY CORRECT. LONG WORKING OUT THEIR 
 INCOMPATIBILITY PROBLEMS, THEY ARE NOW A POWERFUL 
 ALLIANCE TO NARROW WHAT'S CALLED PERSONAL LIFESTYLE 
 CHOICES -- AMONG THEM THE CHOICE TO ENGAGE WITH THE 
 INCREASINGLY RAW AND BIZARRE EXPERIMENTAL MEDIA 
 THAT MV LEADS. THE MOST ACTIVE GROUP IN THE NEW 
 CONSERVATIVE MOVEMENT IS THE HUMAN ANTI-
 DEGRADATION LEAGUE, WHOSE ANNOUNCED GOAL IS 
 IMPOSING ON ALL MEDIA ITS ANTI-DEGRADATION 
 STANDARDS -- "THIS DEGRADES WOMEN, THIS IS DEGRADING 
 TO CHILDREN. AND THIS IS DEGRADING TO..." HADL'S TAKEOVER 
 OF THE INTERNET, "THE MARCH ON THE INFORMATION 
 HIGHWAY" LEADS TO THE FORMATION OF AN AMERICAN 
 UNDERGROUND, WHICH BECOMES INTERNATIONAL, JOINED BY A 
 VARIETY OF UNDERGROUND NETS OF HACKERS [dedicated 
 technos who play with given tech in novel ways], PHREAKERS 
 [HARDWARE AND PHONE HACKERS], CRYPTOANARCHISTS [A 
 HUMOROUS TERM FOR ANARCHISTS WHO WANT TO CHANGE 
 THE WORLD WITH CRYPTOGRAPHY], AND PEOPLE JUST PLAIN 
 PISSED OFF AT SEEING THE PLANET-WIDE DISCOURSE 
 CENSORED. THE UNDERGROUND CREATES ITSELF WITH MANY 
 FACTIONS AND MANIFESTATIONS. 
 
 1994
 April 30, 1994: The first MONDO Vanilli album, 
 AMERICA'S NEWEST HITMAKERS, climbs rapidly to 
 number one on the charts. This manic reflection of chaotic 
 times has the effect of making the times even more chaotic. 
 
 1995
 May 15, 1995: Police Roadblocks on the Information 
 Highway: Censorship enforced on the Internet by the 
 Feds. 
 The Net has been identified by the New Conservatives as the 
 medium of the future. The religious Right, old-style feminists 
 and the politically-correct Left have been pouring millions into 
 mass recruiting for their Human Anti-Degradation League, 
 which pressures their membership to buy modems and SIGN 
 ON. The constituency of the Net changes over a few months to 
 be powerfully pro-censorship. 
    In spite of thousands of vocal nerds, net management and 
 the FCC are pressured to draw up "Anti-Degradation standards" 
 -- which for starts ban all the usual religious and sexual words 
 like damn and pork, along with racially offensive or sexist 
 terms like whitebread and chick -- enforced by Federal spot-
 monitoring of all messages on the Net. 
    The parallel, pointed out at once by scandalized Libertarians, 
 is the federal highway system: the local governments aren't 
 REQUIRED to set 55 mph speed regulations, but they'd better if 
 they expect to get federal funds. The Net management caves in 
 to unremitting pressure: the Net is no longer gross. 
 
 May 16, 1995: the CryptoNet. You can't censor what 
 you can't read. Cypherpunks [A GROUP OF HACKERS, 
 CRYPTOANARCHISTS AND CRYPTOGRAPHY FANS CONCERNED 
 WITH PRIVACY AND FREEDOM], disbanded a year ago when 
 they believed they had Won, reconvene. They and Libertarian 
 cryptophreakers and hackers everywhere initiate emergency 
 countermeasures, issuing manifestos and rants, and posting 
 directions for obtaining encryption tech, both software and 
 hardware [AN EXAMPLE OF ENCRYPTION HARDWARE IS THE 
 SCRAMBLER PHONE. SOFTWARE ALLOWS EMAIL TO BE MASHED 
 INTO WHAT LOOKS LIKE RANDOM BITS UNLESS YOU HAVE THE 
 KEY TO UNMASH IT]. Hackers stay up all night and bash code 
 [that is, they program] or dig out their old email encryption 
 gear and fire it up: heh: practically overnight there are several 
 compatible pseudonymous encrypted email systems [USING A 
 PSEUDONYM WITH THE PROPER EMAIL SYSTEM PROTECTS 
 YOUR CARNAL REAL IDENTITY]. Internet traffic starts to look 
 like -- random bits! Except for the religious bits. And the 
 random chitchat. Technical discourse seems to have 
 disappeared from the Net. But what remains is very nice.
 
 June, 1995: The MONDO Vanilli World tour uses robots, 
 artificial life, and 3-dimensional visual and audio technology to 
 give attendees a wraparound full-sensory experience of such 
 wonders as a lesbian sm session, the slaughter and cooking of a 
 large pig, a kind of neo-Erhardt Seminar Training (EST) session 
 and other delights. The use of the most advanced illusionist 
 theater technology for an erotic and psychologically challenging 
 audience experience makes the tour a wild hit. The HADL uses 
 the MV world tour as a pretext for extending itself 
 internationally, with very mixed results. Holland and 
 Scandinavia predictably laugh even more than they did at MV, 
 but in most European countries the conservatives recognize 
 their own, and HADL signs Tem up. 
 
 July 18, 1995: The long-foreseen Federal banning of 
 "unauthorized" encryption software and devices. The 
 battle for the Internet part 3: a special session of Congress 
 passes a Public Safety Encryption Bill to outlaw use of non-
 regulated encryption, both hardware and software. This hurry-
 up legislation is HADL-backed, and supported by haters of 
 child-porn GIF files everywhere [GRAPHIC INFORMATION 
 FORMAT == A FORMAT FOR SENDING PICTURES ONLINE]. 
 Mandatory prison terms are suggested for violations of the new 
 bill, which is based on the old laws that ranked cryptography 
 along with munitions as a government prerogative. The 
 attendant new bureaucracy is called the Encryption Regulatory 
 Commission (ERC).
 
 July 19, 1995: Nerds' Revenge: instant Underground, 
 CounterNets, Media hacking. The Cypherpunks, world's 
 first completely open conspiracy, becomes a secret anti-
 organization. Some Extropians [A SILICON VALLEY GROUP OF 
 SCIENTISTS, MATHEMATICIANS, PROGRAMMERS AND 
 WEIRDIES DEVOTED TO COMBATTING ENTROPY WITH 
 EVERYTHING THE HUMAN MIND CAN THROW AT IT, TO EXTEND 
 LIFE AND INTELLIGENCE], some Libertarians, some hacker 
 types decide it's time to create an Underground. 
    They do this by declaring there is one. (An Underground is 
 first of all a semiotic construct.)  They post these declarations 
 Internet-wide without interference, since they avoid saying 
 "fuck" or any of those other words. They seem to have a lot of 
 fun with this: they bounce their manifestoes untraceably and 
 sign them with faction names like The Moles [a word that 
 means either a burrowing mammal or a deep-cover spy], their 
 motto -- "We are the blemishes on corporate America" etc. 
    Having declared it into being, most of them join the 
 Underground simply by taking up a secret life based on 
 untraceable communications. Some of them go further: 
 becoming invisible in a data-based culture is something they've 
 worked up to for years. They vanish. (And very happily in 
 most cases -- those who always secretly longed for their own 
 Revolutionary Underground... like the Rave kids who got their 
 own Sixties.) 
    Those who physically Go Under sometimes leave the US to 
 join or create their own TAZes -- temporary autonomous zones 
 -- in parts of the world where they can be free from laws, cops, 
 and the unbearable pressures of niceness. There has been since 
 1992 a movement toward setting up "offshore" banks and 
 other financial and trade institutions, free ports, etc, out of the 
 reach of governments, particularly the U S. This movement 
 becomes more important as these years wear on. 
    An underground, especially a conceptual one, lives by 
 communications. Most of the ongoing revolutionary discourse 
 takes place (surprise!) on the Internet. Pseudonym talks to 
 pseudonym via offshore remailer systems [USUALLY A BBS 
 THAT SERVES AS AN EMAIL DROP, LIKE A PO BOX, SO THAT 
 RETURN ADDRESSES CAN'T BE TRACED. USING SEVERAL 
 REMAILERS EVERY TIME PRETTY WELL OBLITERATES YOUR 
 TRAIL] with elaborate verification protocols to prove they are 
 who they say they are. (The easy way to verify, with 
 unregistered encryption keys [IF YOU ENCRYPT SOMETHING 
 WITH YOUR PRIVATE KEY AND ONLY YOUR PUBLIC KEY 
 UNSCRAMBLES IT, IT MUST BE FROM YOU. A GOVERNMENT 
 PLAN TO REGISTER -- AND READ -- ALL KEYS IS IN THE 
 WORKS.], is outlawed.) This leads to the reputation net that 
 Cypherpunks foresaw long ago -- Skull vouches for you, so 
 Cruncher thinks you're okay. Disguised messaging -- 
 steganography -- is the easy way to send stuff you don't want 
 read: into a harmless Hallmark greeting GIF you insert an 
 encrypted goody whose presence the Feds won't suspect if your 
 handle is AuntMarge.
    Pseudonymous posting on the Internet is possible by 
 bouncing posts through remailers -- hello, Finland! But there's 
 a growing feeling that hitchhacking -- hitching a ride on 
 existing media -- needs to be extended. SneakerNet is one 
 microwave relay-hacking crew. Satellite hacking is long 
 overdue: there's a group called Reach! and another called 
 Mooners. Over the course of months a Conelrad network is 
 painfully hacked together in urban areas of North America: a 
 radio-based semi-encrypted independent net -- look: no wires! 
 The conceptual BigNet (all the nets and BBSs) that links the 
 whole Underground together is called the Mycelium. This is 
 typical nerdish humor: Mycelium is the underground net of 
 fibers constituting the real body of a plant that only 
 occasionally sprouts mushrooms.
    Meanwhile, other Underground hackers with long-standing 
 grudges against broadcast media find new and fascinating ways 
 to subvert it....  INTO THE MATING GAME FLASHES A 
 MICROWAVE-RELAY HACKER IN A SMILEY-FACE MASK 
 READING OFF A SHEET OF PAPER: "AND NOW, A BRIEF MESSAGE 
 FROM YOUR HACKER UNDERGROUND: TODAY'S STUFF YOUR 
 GOVERNMENT DOES NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW." 
    These interruptions are REALLY POPULAR: people sit with 
 their remotes ready to tape them, and trade them back and 
 forth. 
    When hackers crack into and read off long-secret 
 government statistics on real unemployment rates -- greater 
 than 50% in mid-1995 -- the viewing, taping public has a mass 
 breakthrough on the reality front: most of them do little BUT 
 view and tape. The world is the TV screen. The message is the 
 media. And media -- especially with that self-realization -- is 
 getting weirder by the day.
 
 Sept. 1995: MONDO Vanilli's TV show 
 As a huge media event, the MONDO Vanilli TV show opens in 
 tandem with a marketing push of the MONDO Vanilli headware, 
 available for $18.95 at 7-11 stores, that allows the viewer to 
 see and hear the program comfortably in 3D. The show is the 
 Monkees forcibly bred with David Cronenberg -- a ridiculous 
 pop band living together and getting silly, yeah, but beneath 
 the surface extremely weird biological and psychic stuff is 
 happening. The show is bizarre and sexual, but not as far 
 Tround the bend as MV's public performances. 
    The program's popularity, however, raises to new volume 
 the shouts for censorship of the TV waves, now supporting 
 over 1,000 channels and generally viewed as being both out of, 
 and beyond control. But if they can control the Internet, thinks 
 both sides, why not television?
 
 Oct 1, 1995: The Mutants' Manifesto is posted on the 
 Net. The Underground, already very various, sprouts a few 
 new manifestations: armed persons with serious politics, like 
 the Paxton Quigley Brigade -- "We're Armed, We're Female." 
 [MS QUIGLEY WROTE Armed and Female, DEFENDING FEMALE 
 SELFDEFENSE. SHE TEACHES SHARPSHOOTING.] One branch of 
 the armed wing, heh, call themselves the Mutants, dedicated to 
 "Mutating and Taking Over the World." Their manifesto forms 
 one of the core documents of the book. 
    To media- and Net-hacking activities the Underground has 
 been adding direct actions against financial and law-
 enforcement operations of the State and the mega-corps. 
    Popular aboveground cyber-writer and humorist St. Jude is 
 called the patron saint of the movement -- the saint of hopeless 
 causes, yes -- for her satires on the goals and methods of the 
 Underground. She denies any direct connection, but she is 
 continuing a longterm lovership with one of the group's 
 perceived "leaders," and helps maintain communications among 
 factions.
 
 Oct 3, 1995: Robin Hood Day. Today people all over the 
 United States and Canada woke up either richer or poorer. Bank 
 accounts of less than $30,000 were mysteriously credited 
 $3000. Accounts with more were debited the same amount. 
 There were no public announcements, no manifestoes.
 
 Oct 31, 1995: Halloween online. Many pranks, on the 
 Internet and on broadcast TV.
 
 Nov - Dec 1995: The X-Xmas campaign. Pirates jam 
 Christmas advertising and traditional tired holiday hoopla, 
 substituting advertising-parody jingles and Tom Lehrer-style 
 carols. A couple of factions start a "Take Back the Solstice" 
 campaign, broadcasting pagan spiral dances with torches, 
 prayers for the safe return of the sun, etc.
    Immediately other segments of the Underground come back 
 with pagan parodies and Free the Holidays campaigns -- Let 
 My Kwanzaa Go! It's very festive.
 
 1996
 
 Jan 1996: Simone 3Arm does a solo performance tour, 
 which morphs over the course of the tour into a Goddess 
 revival-meeting format. Mass conversions result. 
 
 Feb 2, 1996: The second MONDO Vanilli record release, 
 LOTSA STUFF, comes with an album's worth of music and a 
 full CD-ROM. This will be a pretext for exploring the evolution 
 of computer-based multimedia technology and its links to other 
 forms of media. LOTSA STUFF gets hacked immediately and is 
 made freely available on line -- which fact is then heavily 
 publicized by MV. MV thus sets a Free-the-Media precedent -- 
 seemingly encouraging phreakers to crack and freely distribute 
 not only its own stuff but any musical or CD-ROM release.
 
 Early 1996: How to Mutate and Take Over the World. 
 Pirate media pranking by the Underground has evolved an 
 ongoing shtick called Mutate and Take Over the World:
 
 
 SAMPLE
 _________________________________________________
 ___
 THE EVENING NEWS IS FOCUSING ON THE PLIGHT OF THE LEFT-HANDED. 
 SUDDENLY THE SCREEN GOES PLAID. A FIGURE STEPS BEFORE THE CAMERA: 
 THE SMILEY FACEMASK NODS ITS HEAD IN GREETING. HIS/HER VOICE IS 
 ELECTRONICALLY TREATED TO SOUND LIKE MICKEY MOUSE:
 
 GOOD EVENING, COMRADES. THIS UNSCHEDULED INSTALLMENT OF MUTATE 
 AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE COMMIE FACTION 
 OF THE INTERNATIONAL ANARCHIST PICNIC, AND BY THE COPYRIGHT 
 LAWS OF SOMEBODY'S GOVERNMENT... BUT NOT MINE.
    WE ALL NOW UNDERSTAND THAT THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS 
 COPYRIGHTED, PROTECTED, SAFE, TAME DATA. ONCE DATA'S DISTRIBUTED, 
 IT GOES WILD -- FERAL DATA. IT JUST HANGS AROUND BEING FREE AND 
 REPRODUCING ITSELF. SOUND LIKE FUN? BUT FREE DATA CAN BE TRAPPED 
 AND SOLD: YOU CAN SELL WATER TO SOMEBODY IN THE DESERT, RIGHT? TO 
 SOMEBODY WITH NO ACCESS, YOU CAN EVEN SELL DATA. 
    OKAY, SAY YOU'RE A LEFTO-ANARCHIST. YOU WRITE OR PROGRAM 
 SOMETHING TRULY SNARKY AND YOU WANT PEOPLE TO SEE IT, FREE, AND 
 YOU DON'T WANT SOME CORPORATE SLAVEDEALER MAKING MONEY OFF IT. 
 WHAT TO DO?
    REMEMBER, THE BEST HACK USES THE TOOLS AT HAND. THE COPYRIGHT 
 LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WERE DRAWN UP FOR JUST THIS 
 SITCH. YOU ATTACH A LABEL TO IT, SAYING THAT IT'S COPY-PROTECTED BY 
 LAW, THAT IT'S ILLEGAL TO DISTRIBUTE IT AND THEIR ASS CAN BE SUED 
 OFF... UNLESS THEY DISTRIBUTE IT FREE. 
    THIS IS CALLED COPYLEFTING, AN IDEA CREDITED TO RICHARD 
 STALLMAN. IT'S A SMART WEAPON: IT HITS ONLY THE LAW-ABIDING. 
    REMEMBER THIS AND TAKE COMFORT, FRIENDS: THERE ARE MILLIONS 
 OF WAYS TO BE POLITICALLY INCORRECT. 
    THE UNDERGROUND--dropping to a synthesized deep intimate tone--  
 Loves You. 
    STAY FREE!
 
 A FEW SCENES OF A JAPANESE PORN MANGA ANIMATION, ITS 
 TRADITIONAL BLANKED-OUT GENITALS REPLACED BY NEW-MODEL CARS , 
 TREES, AND MAJOR HOME APPLIANCES; SLOW FADE TO BLACK. NORMAL 
 BROADCAST RESUMES.
 _________________________________________________
 _____
 
 Early 1996: U. S. Ranks Worse than Cambodia in Infant 
 Mortality!
 In this election year, the media starts with the damning 
 statistics early on. While America continues to be the center for 
 media/tech evolution and the capital of the world for 
 entertainment and media, 
 and while a small percentage continue to make money, 
 America is declining into a class hierarchy typical of her former 
 banana colonies to the south. The over-50% real unemployment 
 rate makes for a demoralized formerly middle class and, for 
 the less demoralized, more career opportunities in crime. So, 
 the country that ALREADY (real life, today...) has the greatest 
 percentage of her people imprisoned starts to turn large areas 
 of real estate into prison "annexes." This is indicative of a 
 possible strategy for resolving the unemployment problem 
 without resorting to politically unpopular welfare statism. 
 Meanwhile, mainstream economic statistics still show the 
 economy doing OK in a "slow growth" phase.
 
 April 1, 1996: April Fool Extravaganza by pirate media 
 prankers, hours of "Best of" and new releases from all factions. 
 Some of them are wild beyond belief.
 
 June 1996: Simone 3Arm becomes the first 
 televangelist for CyborGoddess, with a saturation 
 syndication. She's pitching the religion she just founded, which 
 begins with the Creed, "I believe in CyborGoddess, her Explicit 
 Graphicness. I celebrate Her public rites of the CyborErotic."
    The religious right goes nuts, of course. Email complaints and 
 rants, carefully unexplicit, swamp the Internet. 
 
 SAMPLE
 _________________________________________________
 _____
 SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE, JUNE 19, 1996, MEDIA WATCH
 SIMONE OUTSTRIPS HERSELF: THE MEDIA'S RECENTLY HAD A THING 
 FOR SMALLISH BRUNETTES WITH HOT EYES AND A STYLISH WAY WITH 
 THE OUTRAGE. WE HAD MADONNA IN THE 80S AND EARLY 90S, WE'VE GOT 
 SIMONE3ARM TODAY AND MAYBE INTO THE MILLENNIUM. SHE'S GOT THE 
 MEDIA BY THE HOLY VESICLES: SHE'S THE CULT HERO WITH AN ACTUAL 
 CULT. NOTICED THE MARKET SHARE OF THE RELIGIOUS CHANNELS 
 RECENTLY? THAT'S NOT FROM YOUNG BILLY GRAHAM III, GUY. 
    IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE PREACHED AT, CATCH SIMONE ON MTV AND 
 THE MONDO Vanilli show, BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET RELIGION, 
 WATCH GODDESS LIVE! ON THE LIVING RELIGION CHANNEL EVERY NIGHT 
 AT MIDNIGHT. TV FIRSTS GUARANTEED ON EVERY HALF-HOUR SEGMENT. 
 IF YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'LL CATCH THE CELEBRATION OF THE SACRAMENT. 
 YOW! ER... BLESSED BE!
 _________________________________________________
 _____
 
 Oct - Nov 1996: HADL does a saturation campaign of 
 Paid Political Messages endorsing those candidates it can be 
 reasonably certain will follow their line. The Human Anti-
 Degradation League is a powerful lobbying force, and word is 
 they've sewn up the election. One goal of their campaign in this 
 election is to force the reasonably certain to be re-elected 
 Clinton(s) to move against what they perceived as media 
 decadence. They're pounding on this maxim: if, as the prankers 
 have forced everybody to believe, the medium really is the 
 world, this world is messy and corrupt. The HADL lobby is 
 pivotal in the re-election, exacting public campaign promises 
 from all candidates to move on the issue. 
 
 Oct - Nov 1996: Election media pranking. Wild parodies 
 of all the candidates and their programs, much burlesquing of 
 the HADL Paid Political Messages. Different segments of the 
 Underground have different takes on this, and differing senses 
 of humor, and it's pretty funny. Unofficially it's the most 
 popular phenomenon on TV -- a two-month wonder. As the 
 election comes near the Vote, What For? and the Nobody for 
 President anarchist branches pitch their message with, other 
 political theorists claim, too much effectiveness. 
 
 Nov. 1996: Bill and Hillary -- er, GORE re-elected by a 
 landslide. 
 
 Nov: 1996: With online tax filing now fully implemented and 
 being used by the majority of tax-paying civilians, hackers are 
 able to corrupt the data at the point and in the moment of 
 reception. Over 30% of the tax forms are corrupted beyond 
 recognition. This becomes news about three months later and 
 results in yet another sales tax increase. This action continues, 
 implicitly, throughout the "struggle."
 
 Nov - Dec 1996: The 2nd annual XXmas and Solstice 
 celebration. Much merriment is made.  Constant Ad-slot 
 hacking(see sample immediately below.). This year Overworld 
 broadcasting has its own counterChristmas programming: 
 sometimes it's hard to know which is which. 
 
 SAMPLE
 _________________________________________________
 _____
 note: the reporter who writes this column will be seen to be 
 radicalized over the course of the book:
 SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE, NOV 29, 1996, MEDIA WATCH
 THE BALANCE BETWEEN VIEWER ANNOYANCE AND VIEWER DELIGHT -- 
 QUICK, TURN ON THE VCR! -- IS BEING SORTED OUT BY THE PIRATES OF THE 
 AIR. 
    NICELY TIMED AD-SLOT HACKING SEEMS TO BE EASING COMPLAINTS 
 ABOUT INTERRUPTIONS OF SCHEDULED FAVE SHOWS AND FOOTBALL 
 GAMES.
    SO, INTO OUR TRADITIONAL 3-MINUTE COMMERCIAL BREAKS ARE 
 DROPPED SUCH FAMILIAR ANTI-ADS AS THE ONE-LINER "INSERT YOUR 
 MESSAGE HERE", WITH THE SEVERELY OUT OF FOCUS PORN STUFF 
 HAPPENING IN THE BACKGROUND, AND EVER-MORE-STATE-OF-THE-ART 
 COMPUTER GRAPHICS AD PARODIES. NEW IS A FEATURE TURNING UP IN 
 SPOTS IN THE EVENING NEWS AND THE MONDO Vanilli Show: "THE 3-
 MINUTE MUTANT." 
 
 Late Dec 1996: A post-holiday HADL campaign on cleaning 
 up broadcasting and squashing the pirates.
 
 Dec. 1996: The Disinformation Highway.
 The hardcore intruders [HACKERS WHO LIKE TO BREAK INTO 
 SYSTEMS.] in the Underground get busy, striking at U S 
 Government targets. One group hacks communiqus at the 
 highest levels of the State Department and the Pentagon, 
 breaking into allegedly hack-proof private communications 
 networks and altering or substituting, working without 
 publicity in hopes the changes will pass unnoticed..
    Others -- or maybe the same ones, who knows? -- hit the 
 Internet, inserting minor but time-wasting glitches in the 
 subnetworks, even unto tweaking the PCs of home users 
 hanging off the Net. (This generates a lot of interfactional static, 
 some sections cherishing free communications and some just 
 wanting to DESTROY.)
    Worse, oh much worse, using insider knowledge of the 
 dynamics of interaction within selected public and private 
 organizations (HADL affiliates and the anti-encryption agencies 
 are only the obvious targets), they are able to sow discord and 
 confusion within them, avoiding suspicion by mimicking the 
 communiqus of individuals with poor face-to-face 
 communications skills and/or with already bad interpersonal 
 relationships. This results in severe policy mis-steps, intra-
 organizational warfare and job loss and, finally, a major foreign 
 policy dbacle as U. S. troops are sent to Palestine to protect 
 Palestinians from a minor Israeli military incursion, only to 
 have them returned home before their arrival. This strategy of 
 interception and replacement of communications to cause 
 confusion becomes known as "Interpersonal Appropriation."
 
 1997
 Feb. 1997: The War Against Violence and Porn. In 1997 
 a bi-partisan alliance in Congress announces the War. All the 
 media are heavily pressured to self-censor for a G-Rated 
 [Suitable for All Audiences] content. If it's not fit for a five-yr-
 old it's not suitable for YOU.   
    The response of the major networks and the print media is 
 swift: things get Nicer than before, very rapidly. There's no 
 censorship like self-censorship; it's moving toward a 50s Disney 
 world on all channels -- except for the continuing media 
 hacking from the Underground, which is perceived by the 
 authorities as politically subversive as well as politically 
 incorrect. There is a lot of pressure to find the "leaders" and 
 put them away. A large part of the War Against V&P budget 
 goes toward crushing the Underground. 
 
 March 1997: The media get sweeter and sweeter. 
 Meanwhile, the still hot MONDO Vanilli releases VANILLI 
 DECADENCE and co-sponsors the parody "Decadent Art" show, 
 with the Third Reich parody group, NSDAP (New School of 
 Design Art and Performance). The show is slated to run in Los 
 Angeles for ninety days, and includes the latest in computer 
 wearables [COMPUTERS AND GEAR THAT, YES, CAN BE WORN.] 
 and 3-Dimensional sensory saturation staging, the new human-
 like robots, and pushes to the absolute edge the physical 
 torture of an audience using light and sound. As well as nightly 
 live performances by MONDO Vanilli, the "Decadent Art" show 
 features all of the leading "shock" artists of the time. It is shut 
 down after one week and all participants are threatened with 
 arrest. 
 
 March 1997: The Underground starts a heavy pirate-
 publicity campaign to organize from and within the jails. 
    It also uses the strategy of Interpersonal Appropriation in 
 attacks on the ERC (Encryption Regulatory Commission), making 
 great chaos in this barely formed organization. Deeply satisfied 
 with being able to read/listen to the personal communications 
 of the leading political enforcers of decency -- which reveals 
 tremendous corruption and hypocrisy -- portions of the 
 Underground turn a great deal of attention to all forms of 
 surveillance, including video surveillaince (they hack spy 
 satellites to their own use), and old-fashioned shadowing. 
 Revelatory materials are widely distributed over pirated media 
 and the Nets. The tweaked stuff is hilarious, but the actual 
 liberated stuff is only mildly convincing, given the ability of 
 even modestly technically sophisticated individuals to alter or 
 even create realistic-seeming activity in any medium. 
 Nevertheless, the sexual peccadilloes, drug habits etc of the 
 "Moral Elite" becomes a primary source of hilarity on all the 
 media.
 
 April 1, 1997: The 2nd April Fool Extravaganza. Anti-
 ads for this event have been blitzing the real ads for weeks, 
 promising a media breakthrough, the most surprising ever: 
 "Revealed! The Shocking Future Of Media!"
    April 1 evening programming draws the heaviest viewer 
 share ever. Surprise: for the 24 hours following, ONLY 
 REGULARLY SCHEDULED BROADCASTS. It's pretty shocking, all 
 right. Viewers get the point.  This is what life would be like if 
 the Overworld gets its way.
 
 April 3, 1997: The Information Liberation Front -- 
 "Information Longs to be Free" -- is raided in Mountain 
 View, CA. An armed standoff lasting several hours ends when 
 the Front -- one computer scientist -- cheerfully gives himself 
 up. He passes out copies of the Information Liberation Front 
 manifesto to the arresting officers and the gathered media, and 
 quips to the Press that he's looking forward to jail, because he's 
 missed all his friends. The ILF guy [who actually exists, with all 
 sorts of name changes to protect him] will be an ongoing 
 character: he's a gun nut, a right-Libertarian, (Heinlein 
 tendency), and very inventive, combative and funny. We'll see 
 his view of the prison Underground.
 
 April 8, 1997: Biotechnology Produces AIDS Counter-
 Virus. The AIDS virus is tamed, not destroyed, but AIDS now 
 means only a minor susceptibility to disease and infection. The 
 public sexual puritanism remains in place, which only makes 
 the secretive but massive transgressions more delicious.
 
 May 1997: Pirate advertisements. Amenities of the 
 Underground are pitched online and in ad-slot hacking on TV. 
 Online and offshore banks are explained and pitched. Real and 
 virtual TAZes (Temporary Autonomous Zones) are hawked with 
 resort style promos -- "Belgian New Guinea. Where the balmy" 
 etc. Some really ambitious hackers blitz the home shopping 
 channels with underground "products," most of them fictional 
 and scandalous. Parodic public broadcasting campaigns ask for 
 viewer support for real, virtual, or completely fictional 
 underground institutions. Promo spots like: "The few, the 
 happy. Be all that you can be, in the Underground!" With 
 contact information for newby-level [NEWCOMER] hookups with 
 the Net. This is very gutsy. It indicates a move toward the Open 
 Secret model for action. [THE NOTION THAT THERE IS NO WAY 
 OF CRACKING A REVOLUTIONARY ORGANIZATION THAT HAS 
 NOTHING TO HIDE AND ACCEPTS EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO 
 JOIN.]
 
 June 1997: MONDO Vanilli, along with other media-
 oriented businesses finds itself in a sudden economic 
 crunch -- because information that previous longed to be 
 free, now is. Media has been "liberated" by the hacking that 
 MV helped foster as its own media prank. Media in general is 
 in chaos, but MV has its own special problems. Sponsors are 
 leery of being hacked in the MV TV show slots, which are 
 primo targets. MV becomes a media arm of Sony/Paramount 
 and is given its own TV network with some unreal estate on 
 the Internet to sweeten the deal. It becomes one of the many 
 groups programming its own 3D interactive VR game. As usual, 
 the bizarre content causes consternation, and subsequent fat 
 profits.
 
 July 9, 1997: The unexpected retirement of Bill (and 
 perforce, Hillary Rodman) Clinton as the result of a scandal so 
 bizarre (we assume), so raw (we think) that no media were 
 able to even hint at its nature under the new Standards of 
 Decency -- "All the News that's Correct to Print." 
 
 July 10, 1997: The succession of Al and Tipper and the 
 appointment of Catherine McKinnon Masson as vice-President 
 initiates full industrial-strength New Puritanism. Jesse Helms is 
 appointed by the new administration to head the newly 
 created  Bureau of Media Standards (BMS).  Noted technophobe 
 and anti-biotech fanatic Jeremy Rifkin is appointed Secretary 
 of the Interior. Much rejoicing from oldstyle feminists and 
 fundamentalists in the usual flavors: Christians, Jews, Moslems, 
 New Agers, Luddite-Revivalists et al. Correct Politicians become 
 dominant in both parties. 
 
 August 10 -13, 1997: Hacking at the End of the 
 Universe V. Members of the American Underground openly 
 attend a European hackers convention sponsored by Hac-Tic 
 outside Amsterdam. Strategies for online bankers, schemes for 
 digital cash -- an ongoingly difficult problem -- offshore 
 hacking, and other strategies are discussed... It's an interesting 
 event, because any face2face meating [NERD JARGON FOR 
 ACTUALLY NONVIRTUALLY BEING WITH SOMEONE ELSE.] is 
 possibly dangerous. Being there in one's seizable body, even in 
 Holland... One can be fearless only online, with the proper 
 precautions, right?
 
 Sept. 1997: Sectors of the Underground start using both 
 "Interpersonal Appropriation" tactics and the corruption of 
 data to undermine computer and media megacorporations, 
 particularly 3PO, Apple-Nintendo, Madonna Inc, Paramount-
 Sony, and Snapple-Disney Virtuality. With underground 
 sympathizers now making up a large minority of the society, an 
 underground sect organizes a highly successful work-sabotage 
 campaign which results in a season of nearly universal releases 
 of faulty software and hardware. This causes tremendous 
 snafus for Undergrounders themselves, particularly hackers, 
 prankers, and extropian futurists dependent on fully functional 
 unsabotaged tech. There is bitter infighting, with hardcore 
 technophiles on one side vs. the punker No-Futurists, the teen 
 lone-marauder types, and PROCESSED WORLDers [A ZINE, 
 Processed World PUT OUT BY A SITUATIONIST-INFLUENCED 
 GROUP  THAT URGES DATA-ENTRY SLAVES, THE LOWEST IN 
 THE HIERARCHY, TO RISE UP AND OOPS! SPILL SWEETENED 
 COFFEE INTO THE KEYBOARD] , queasily allied on the other.
 
 Nov 1997: the War Against the Unrated, The War 
 Against Meat, the War Against This and That 
 Tipper's 1997 State-of-the-Union Speech: The Caring Society. 
 She calls for bi-partisan support for the outlawing of things 
 known to the Surgeon General to be bad for the body such as 
 unsafe Sex and most Drugs, and those known to the Attorney 
 General to be bad for the spirit, such as almost all forms of 
 post-punk Rock'n'Roll and immoral happenings on broadcast 
 TV. 
    Before Congress breaks session for the winter holidays in 
 1997-1998, alcohol can be issued only by state liquor stores 
 countrywide, and tobacco is contraband as an addictive 
 substance. Some soreheads join the Underground, where 
 smokers and nonsmokers bicker bitterly. 
    As the repression rolls on, the FDA requires a new warning 
 label on non-veg foodstuffs -- "The Surgeon General has 
 determined that eating meat may be hazardous to your health, 
 and meat-eating contributes to the injury and death of other 
 sentient beings" -- and meat is made outright illegal in some 
 municipalities -- the so-called Bluegreen Laws. There's a 
 campaign by HADL to extend don't ask-don't tell to all sexual 
 orientations, and to make unmarried sex between anybody 
 definable as rape without notarized signed contracts. 
 Carnivores and people of all the genders join the Underground.
     Such paradrugs as vitamin and amino supplements, many 
 over-the-counter meds (aspirin is a powerful anticoagulant, 
 and causes Rye Syndrome!), and of course whole constellations 
 of tools for tinkering with one's metabolism and attitude are 
 made illegal without a prescription and a user's manual. Those 
 ultra-suburban segments of the Libertarian population that 
 have not yet joined the Underground do so now.
    A crackdown on genetic engineering and research, and an 
 end to nanotech [ITTYBITTY TECH: MACHINES A COUPLE OF 
 MOLECULES ACROSS MAKE COMPLICATED THINGS FROM 
 ATOMS AT HAND] appropriations forces biotechnologists and 
 nanotechnologists and the last few of the Extropians 
 underground, with Eric Drexler identified as their leader. 
 People with friends who are supercats and pygmy elephants 
 join the Underground too, pre-emptively.
    Song lyrics, and in fact all publicly available art and 
 entertainment, are now required to be submitted to the newly-
 formed Jesse Helms committee for approval. Famous musicians 
 and some of the most chic artists issue press statements and 
 join the Underground in herds. Artists and musicians who are 
 not famous pass out pamphlets or xeroxed position papers, and 
 do likewise. (Ironically, since live performance obviously skips 
 free of this approval process, club nightlife returns).
    The state of women's fashion in this country has never been 
 duller. MOST fashion degrades women, it turns out. Many 
 American designers defect to Eastern Europe, which is 
 becoming the center for trendy new design of all kinds. Many 
 other chic persons consider buying modems and joining the 
 Underground.
 
 Late Nov 1997: Sub Rosa signs on. She irregularly hacks 
 into MTV. A combination of Tokyo Rose and PUMP UP THE 
 VOLUME, she intersperses unknown bands' videos with blatant 
 Underground agitprop. She's an immediate hit.
 
 Dec 1997: the antiantichristmas campaign. The pirates 
 jam themselves, interrupting scheduled broadcasts to read 
 brief gloomy messages: THIS YEAR'S ANTIHOLIDAY 
 CELEBRATION HAS BEEN CANCELED DUE TO GOVERNMENT 
 REPRESSION. HAVE A NICE LIFE. MER-RY CHRISTMAS!
 
 1998
 Jan 1998: In response to the new legal pressures, to keep its 
 comfortable status MONDO Vanilli goes lite, transforming itself 
 into a deeply ironic, yet barely perceptable, parody of the most 
 treacly kind of publically approved programming. 
 Nevertheless, rumors of connections with the Underground 
 persist.
 
 Feb - April 1998: The War Against the Wars Against.
 After a bad winter of increasing repression, many different 
 sections of the Underground fight back: nerds, performance 
 artists, genesplicers, guitarists and nicotine addicts in 
 withdrawal take to the streets. In some areas -- Austin, 
 Minneapolis, Seattle, New Orleans, Boston, and of course 
 Berkeley and San Francisco -- there are armed uprisings. [This 
 will be massively enlarged upon: this is a fun section. 
 Everybody I know wants to pick up the gun. Good luck.]
 Everywhere there is street hacking: unofficial parades, 
 stripping events, public sex. Lots of rubber (mostly) bullets 
 from the cops, and stunners on all sides. The Spring festivities 
 run through the summer.
 
 April 1, 1998: The day the banks stood still.
 An unofficial bank holiday. No transactions transacted in North 
 America and Europe. All systems down. At 9 AM April 2, 
 Greenwich Time, everything is back to normal. Sure. 
 International financial structures are shellshocked. The 
 Underground has given them a demonstration they can't fire 
 rubber bullets at. Massive investigations follow. The hackers 
 left no audit trails. 
 
 June 1998: Violent police action against an illegal 
 Ghetto Rage music concert sets off inner-urban rioting coast 
 to coast. Much shooting and bloodshed throughout the summer. 
 HappyNews mainstream media can no longer refuse to report 
 the news, and the shocking reality comes through...
 
 Social Overview: 
 It is noted that the murder rate in major urban areas has 
 reached upwards of 500 killings per day.  Thrill kill cults and 
 gangs issue their own manifestos... they want to be understood.  
 Many claim an allegiance to the underground and are 
 extraordinarily eloquent in their ideological justifications. Some 
 modern primitivist subcultures have turned to cannibalism and 
 one group of pranksters are noted for convincing the 
 completely tattooed, pierced, and otherwise physically-altered 
 that frontal lobotomies are the next cool thing.  Prostitutes, 
 many in number since this is one of the few forms of money-
 making work still extant, are often violently feminist post-
 riotgrrrrrls.  As a result, a demographic slice of the post-
 industrial economy, including captains of industry, are now 
 secretly eunuchs. This continues because it gets no publicity -- 
 guess why.
    With the sophisticated robotics replacing nearly all 
 industrial workers, and with all forms of information and 
 media available online, the only kinds of work left, outside of a 
 few managers, are physical services such as home delivery, 
 massage, restauranting etc.  That and protection.  The few 
 enclaves of the rich are protected by heavily armed hired 
 toughs. "Escort services" advertise discreetly: bonded 
 bodyguards. Whatever gets you through the parking lot.
    The riots die down with arrests and the cooling of summer 
 into fall.
    Did I hear somebody say "Cyberpunk?" 
 
 Oct. 1998: Medical Science Announces New Artificial 
 Liver, which is puffed as a great advance over the real thing, 
 much better at detoxing the environmental, heh, poisons. The 
 rich, both legitimate and Underground elite, rush to have their 
 livers replaced. The economy gets a boost, and alcoholics and 
 stimulant abusers celebrate wildly.
 
 1999
 Working together; artists, cypherpunks, hackers, 
 media hackers, et al. keep up a barrage of assaults on 
 the mainstream society in all its aspects. Illegal TV 
 shows and computer networks are known to be more popular 
 than those that are government approved, although this is 
 widely denied. 
    It's become a clich that the Underground sector of the 
 economy is now bigger than what's now called even in polite 
 circles the Overworld or Overground. There's no way this can 
 be proved, since the border between the two -- the ground? -- 
 is muddy. The Under overlaps into the Over by parasitising it 
 in various ways -- maintaining a steady inflation by 
 intercepting and altering Federal Reserve currency regulation, 
 for example, and by siphoning off perceived fatcat money 
 reserves. Also the intra-Underground economy isn't directly 
 quantifiable: they're using a polymorphous free money system 
 with a variety of means of exchange, including straight-out 
 barter.
 
 Jan: 1999: Farming is completely dead, replaced by 
 biotechnologically-produced self-replicating food 
 stuffs. In spite of severe restrictions from Interior Secretary 
 Rifkin, new, tasty and peculiar forms of healthy foods are 
 cheap and available... but nothing quite as satisfying as a juicy 
 steak or a roast duck, which one can eat only in private, and 
 only after negotiating with very nasty Black Market types. 
 Admissions of personal carnivorous habits meets with the kind 
 of hostility previously reserved for smokers and fur wearers. 
 
 Feb 1999: An Underground Cryonics lab, operated out 
 of a prison, is busted and thousands of the "Undead" are 
 killed, finally.
 
 March 1999: The Return of Simone 3Arm and her flock 
 from her island retreat, and the fact that they're not bothered 
 by the forces of repression during a 3 month tour, is indicative 
 of the level of chaos and disrepair that this society has 
 devolved to. Her appearance on the treacly and by now not-
 terribly-popular MONDO Vanilli show does raise some 
 consternation however. 
 
 April 1999: Imprisoned Extropian technophiles unveil 
 a series of new developments including: implants capable 
 of manipulating aspects of brain chemistry at will, an injection 
 that will cause people to grow new skin in any color desired, 
 and a wing-sprouting program that allows prisoners to take to 
 the air, ignoring the prison walls. Also, an artificial liver that's 
 BETTER than theirs.
 
 June 1999: MONDO Vanilli announces its independence 
 from Paramount/Sony and markets a new product 
 called Second Skin. This skin-based total immersion 
 experience is sensation- rather than content-based, and though 
 it's known to be sinfully pleasurable in much the same way 
 that good sex and body drugs are, it is not perceived as needing 
 to be censored or controlled since no sex or drug or 
 communication is involved. A second refinement will allow 
 wearers to experience content-based illusions from their own 
 unconscious, in a waking state similar to lucid dreaming. 
 Scrappi DChamp is now the CEO of MV and he lately seems to 
 be doing a Howard Hughes, hiding behind barbed-wired in his 
 Hawaiian estate, and not talking to anyone for weeks at a time.  
 The rumors that he has his artificial liver removed and 
 "disinfected" in a gross and bloody daily ritual, however, are 
 false.  Scrappi is actually one of the few people who won't get 
 with the improved techno-liver. 
 
 July 9 - 16 1999: Financial market players Gracie and 
 Zarkov, taking advantage of increased chaos in the 
 global mainstream financial markets, make the 
 equivalent of the Government's yearly budget in a 
 week by bouncing money around the globe. A biologically-
 based supercomputer using chaos and complexity theory allows 
 them to do split-nanosecond trading exponentially increasing 
 value. They stop when their wealth is equal to the US 
 Government's. The world economy goes nuts and G & Z 
 contribute generously to offshore and Underground financial 
 systems.
 
 Oct. 1999: The Underground is now so rich that the 
 wealth starts to spread to the huge underclass and 
 things on the street mellow a little. On the heels of the Simone 
 3Arm tour, people start to gingerly test the waters regarding 
 freedom of communications. Seeking to regain some 
 momentum, the mainstream internet gives Simone3Arm some 
 unreal estate. This territory becomes a major attractor for 
 pomo primitives and other hipsters -- the most chic virtual TAZ 
 of this time. 
 
 Jan.-Nov. 2000: The Sirius bid for the Presidency
 R. U.--who has been playing it relatively straight, but is still the 
 weirdest thing outside the Underground, announces his 
 candidacy for the Presidency. Starting off in a prankish and 
 playful stance, he will eventually arrives at radical anti-
 Overworld positions and receive Underground support.
 
 Mar 2000: Liberalism not spoken here
 With candidate R. U. Sirius getting alot of support from the vast 
 numbers of extremely alienated sub-culture and underclass 
 types, the mainstream candidates--Democrats: Al & Tipper 
 Gore, Republicans: Senator Oliver North and Senator Arnold 
 Schwartzenneger and perenials Ross Perot and Jerry Brown--
 flash conservative again, complaining about the tendency 
 towards a new permissiveness in media. The incumbent Gore's 
 lead a new charge against decadent media, such as Simone 
 3Arm's Internet bbs, and against the underground in general. 
 Several prisons that have formed the core of the Underground, 
 and that were left more or less alone during the non-election 
 years. are raided. Much death and violence ensues. The 
 Underground is upset.
 
 April 20, 2000: Multiple Singularities. [THE 
 SINGULARITY IS A CONCEPT INVENTED BY SCIENCEFICTION 
 WRITER VERNOR VINGE: EVER MORE RAPID TECHNOLOGICAL 
 EVOLUTION BROUGHT THE PLANETARY CULTURE TO THE POINT 
 WHERE EVERYONE MYSTERIOUSLY VANISHED.] The Washington 
 Post breaks a story that has been covered up for years: There 
 have been local breakouts of the Singularity in nanotech 
 research. These incidents have severely impeded advances in 
 nanotech, keeping it always a month or more behind the point 
 where the truly innovative researcher and his/her lab vanishes 
 in a flash of pure data.  As of March of this year, only nanotech 
 second-stringers are left unsingulared, and science-watch 
 reporters hint that nanotech research may be a self-limiting 
 phenomenon.
 
 May 2000:  R U Mutates for real.
 After a few lame public appearances, R. U. Sirius is dragged by 
 St. Jude to an underground lab where he is given a complete 
 upgrade.  Just completed data storage technology biochips are 
 inserted into his brain, he is given a complete physical 
 makeover including the latest in plastic surgery and 
 replaceable parts.  Using advanced mind control techniques, he 
 is completely brainwashed, Manchurian Candidate style, by 
 undergrounders.  And a bacterial phage programs him for 
 perpetual vasopressin release so that he can never sleep and is 
 always alert.  Throughout the spring and summer, he is a most 
 impressive candidate and by September 1, he is polling better 
 than 50%.  The nearest contenders, the Gores, are at 25%.
 
 September 9 2000: Public Freakout
 Overamped from vasopressin, having peculiar internal and 
 external physiological effects from the confluence of physical 
 changes, R. U. has a psychotic break during the first of the 
 official Presidential debates.  When he claims to have a palm-
 top nuclear bomb in his left coat pocket set to go off and, at 
 that exact moment huge red-green boils pop out on his face, 
 the debate is canceled and he's led off by the Secret Service for 
 questioning.
 
 Nov 10, 2000:  R. U. Sirius' attempt to spring back to 
 life after the debate debacle, claiming exhaustion and food 
 poisoning, doesn't succeed.  The Gores are once again elected in 
 a landslide victory. 
 
 2001
 Feb 2001: R. U. Sirius busted for drugs, pornography, 
 and steak with french fries.  Scrappi DChamp announces 
 that MONDO Vanilli is disbanded and that he will concentrate 
 on improved 3rd and 4th versions of "Second Skin."  However, 
 he also releases a pre-digital, totally retro,  all-instrumental 
 solo album of ambient sixties style surf music called TOO 
 STUPID FOR WORDS. It fills a yes, much-needed void and 
 becomes extremely popular.
 
 Sept 2001: The underground cracks the finances of the 
 empire and the multinational system, and through the 
 manipulation of stocks, futures, and money itself is able to 
 claim virtual ownership of everything. At the same time, the 
 nanotech breakthrough occurs and becomes usable. After a few 
 trivial riots and shoot-em-ups, the system is overwhelmed. 
 Sirius and St. Jude are hailed as avatars but more in humorous 
 nostalgia.
 
 Oct 31, 2001: The breakout of the pink goo. [THE 
 NIGHTMARE OF THE NANOPEOPLE IS A "BREAKOUT" THAT 
 COVERS THE EARTH WITH SELF-REPLICATING 
 MICROMACHINES: THE GREY GOO.] A Halloween prank by a 
 teenage nanotech hacker covers Provo, Utah in a foot-deep 
 pink carpet of self-replicating human sex pheromones, which 
 creeps outward from the computer center at BYU. Brigham 
 Young students and townies roll around in the pink goo like 
 kids, while real kids, completely immune, say "EWWW, GROSS" 
 and go back to the Nintendo. Horrible orgies in ensue. The final 
 cleanup takes weeks, with industrial vacuum cleaners wielded 
 by boyscouts in gasmasks, (who are afterward quarantined, 
 AND chaperoned.) etc. Copycat crimes sweep the globe, usually 
 customized like Provo to hit at local vulnerabilities. 
 
 Ded. 25, 2001: An all-retro, all-acoustic MONDO Vanilli 
 reunion performance broadcast worldwide is the catalyst 
 for tremendous pagan public celebrations, but the festivities 
 are dampened when at the end of the program Simone 3Arm 
 announces that they may think it's cool that now retro is 
 avant-garde, but the whole IDEA of avant-garde is cluelessly 
 pass, she's bored with everything but cooking, and wants only 
 to launch her own gourmet chef TV program in the tradition of 
 her childhood hero, Julia Childs.
 
 AFTERTHOUGHT: WORLD ENDS
 April 3 - May 20, 2002: The world ends. A nanotech 
 manufacturing program used in all outlets of the multinational 
 General Fields Nabisco has a bug, which is fixed with a bad fix, 
 which leads to other blunders.  Clouds seeded by a fire in a Mrs 
 General factory leads to world-wide typhoons of self-
 replicating nano-edibles. Ultimately, the planet is smothered 
 with Key Lime pie filling.
 
 
 
 

